Dan Wilson

DAN WILSON ---- Professional Athlete ---- Part-time Wordsmith

Monday, November 12, 2012

The Words Yearbook

Evening friends,

Twelve months ago, the previously unsullied dominion of the internet was forever stigmatised with the catalogue of mindless waffle emanating from this site. As such, I’ve decided to mark this watershed of literacy my compiling a yearbook of sorts from the last year of etymology on this site. Thus, with a hint of nostalgia from the year gone, peruse the countdowns, highs, lows and favorites from a year of bloggin’ about joggin’. 

Top 5 Gags Of The Year

Clearly, the most important subject first. I’m quite partial to the odd gag being bandied about, especially on training camps, usually with the aim of having a laugh and keeping the mood light. Except if the gag is on me, when it’s never funny, just stupid, and definitely grounds for getting kicked off camp. Here’s a small selection from many...

  1. Replacing the inside of roommate Matt Brown’s cereal box with washing powder. The memory of him pouring himself a nice big bowl of detergent after a hard swim set still brings a smile to my face today. 
  2. Fireworking Boxy. A two man operation, 1 bunger was lobbed in the back door, and when he went to investigate, another thrown in the front door, presenting multidirectional consternation.
  3. Boxy again (I do love you, Boxy!). Inviting Boxy around for a meal, then carefully preparing a 1/10 scale replica of our meals for his degustation. His howls of outrage at the miniature meal were definitely larger than life. 
  4. South Korean Coach. Still not sure if this one was intended or not. Day 1, morning 1 of staying with the South Korean triathlon team, and the coach invited me for breakfast and presented me with a sweet potato, and apple, and lastly, a tomato and walnut milkshake. He drank one also, so he may have been genuine, but I did detect some sniggering amongst the athletes...
  5. The Old Switcheroo. Being ‘gagged’ ourselves on camp, we sensed foul play when our bikes went missing, but some amateur sleuthing by Mitch Kealey soon discovered our truant bikes secluded in our neighboring athletes abode. Casually mentioning we had to leave swimming early to meet with the police, soon had the gag flipped like a pancake. 
Top 3 Favorite Races Of The Year
  1. Alpe d’Huez. An iconic climb, an idiosyncratic race, a fun road trip and a decent performance by yours truly, made for a memorable race. Beer shower provided free of charge was much appreciated. 
  2. Tiszaujvaros. A neoteric race in an eccentric place. What better place to start a dynamic new format of Semis/Finals than the notorious triathlon stomping ground of Tizzie. Loads of fun racing the new format, which was exciting to race in and watch, and brought a whole new branch of tactics to racing. The future of triathlon if you ask me.
  3. Bike racing. No race in particular, but having spent some time out with injury, bike racing went a long way to keeping me sane, giving me an outlet for my competitiveness. Sometimes, it’s a pleasure just to get beaten. 

Best/Worst/Biggest’s Of The Year

Best Race: Stockholm, getting back to WTS level.
Worst Race: Hamburg, not back at WTS level. And missed the bike prime. 

Biggest Blow Up (Physical): Long, hard ride with Mitch Kealey. Dehydrated badly and lost the plot somewhere in the French hinterland. Finally, a concerned Mitch took pity on me and purchased many cool beverages, ensuring I didn’t have to hitchhike back to Aix. 
Biggest Blow Up (Mental): Injury concerns abridging my trip to come home early, but still coming home via a race in Chengdu, a race which I had no plans of finishing. A low. 
Biggest Blow Up (Vehicle): Broken muffler gave me brief illusions of being Batman, with some serious flame emitted when it dragged along the road. RIP The Gurgler.
Biggest Blow Up (Navigational): Turning a 3km jog of the bike, into a 12km odyssey through the French forest. Another thank you to the benevolent, direction giving French mountain bikers, I swear I never even thought about stealing your bikes. 

Biggest Curveball in a swim: Losing my cap and goggles 100m in to the race in Tizzie, combined with long hair meant complete blindness for the rest of the swim. Navigated by sense of smell alone...
Biggest Curveball on the bike: Snapping a gear cable 15 min into 45km bike race over a hilly course, straight into the big dog for the rest of the race, creating a new training acronym in the process ESEE (Enforced Strength Endurance Effort)
Biggest Curveball on the run: My ankle instability is world renowned, and facing trails at the top of Alpe d’Huez, I was a tad unsettled. Set a record for the loudest obscenity uttered at altitude whilst nearly taking a stumble at 2km.
Biggest Lactic Acid Spike: Doing a few ‘easy’ pre-race efforts with Ryan Fisher and Jan Rehula. The big Czech still has some HP. Fish and I nearly quit the sport on the spot. 

Best Decision: Taking Moffy’s advice to try making my own Peanut Butter. Look for my new range of spreads, Willy’s Nuts, available in supermarkets soon.
Worst Decision: Blending the aforementioned spread a little too enthusiastically, and completely frying my blender. However, this added a sublime ‘smokey’ note to the flavour. 

Training Favorites Of The Annum

Favourite Swim Set: Sprints. Or anything not involving a kickboard, band or sponge. 

Favourite Ride: In AUS - ‘100% ride’ A cult followed, hard-mans-ride in Brisbane. At is best/worst, it’s dark, freezing, and fast. 1 hour of lactic. 
En FRA: Mont du Chat. 14 kms at 10%. It’s bright, hot, and slow. 1 hour of lactic.

Favourite Run: Given the time off with injury, anytime I lace up is currently a favorite. Sandgate wetlands in solitude is bliss though…

Miscellaneous Favourites Of The Annum

Album: Panopticon - Kentucky, Runner-up: Ahab - The Giant, Neurosis - Honor Found In Decay

Coffee Shop: Bunker (Brisbane)

Tweet: Mitch Robbins : ASADA Whereabouts form v challenging 2complete, nearly everynight at a different girls house I barely even get a name, let alone an address.

Blog (There is only one eligible author, of course, chosen by viewing figures): A Day In The LIfe

Compliment: You speak very good english... for an Australian. 

TV: Curb Your Enthusiasm

Way to annoy people: (I have loads...) Sprinting the last 10m of the easy part of the swim set to ‘beat’ far superior swimmers than myself. I’ve never seen Trent Grimsey look more horrified. 

Video Clip: Optimism 101

Another twelve months of irreverence and irrelevance to come...

Take care friends,