The Life Aquatic

Devotees of Words With Wilson will no doubt recall a previous, somewhat melancholic narrative detailing some precipitation filled times at our camps at South Golden Beach. And, like Christmas, doing my taxes, and being late with my taxes, it would appear getting damper than a teenagers gym bag, is fast becoming a annual ritual. As I sit here at my typewriter, my eyes are drawn frequently to the rising water surrounding my bed, and hands stray to the swim snorkel in my swim kit, which may soon provide a second, much more practical use than its typical technique based requirements.

Given that the ample training regime has provided significant demands on time, fatigue and motivation to put quill to parchment, I’ll keep this post brief. Also given that training has also limited any inspiration for original syntax, I will plagiarise a decidedly tabloid journalistic column, from a decidedly tabloid journalism paper (That’s right, I said it Courier Mail, refute if you can...). Behold, South Golden Beach, by the numbers....

100 - % chance that the elusively self-described ‘Cool House’ starring Mitch Kealey, Jack Hickey, Ash Gentle, and your humble author, will win the next available inter-house challenge, due to our superior intelligence, humor, physical prowess, and clearly evident arrogance

99 - % chance that rain will start 5 mins before our rides start

98 - % chance that aforementioned rain will stop as we do

30 - minutes left of a 5 hr ride in the rain, across potholes, gravel and dirt roads, without a crash in the bunch

25 - minutes left of a 5 hr ride in the rain, across potholes, gravel and dirt roads, before Matt Brown crashes on a flat, dry, straight section of road. Originally we thought he had ripped every muscle clean off his body, leaving only bone and sinew, but then we realised that’s the way he normally looks.

24 - hrs per day of ruthless (yet light-hearted) banter. Slightly mispronounce a word at your peril

10 - Dollar (AUS) cover charge to see the South Golden Beach house band (featuring J Hickey and D Wilson) playing throughout the day, featuring improv songs about riding in the rain, training, rain, and being wet whilst training.

2 - Seconds advantage I get on Jack every time he routinely misses a tumble turn in the deceptively long Mullumbimby pool. I need it...

1 - Thing more competitive than a sprint swim session. Playstation. No maple syrup has been chugged. Yet...

0 - Data collected by the malfunctioning SRM. Clearly there is no value in riding if there is no data being collected, so I’ll be having a spell until it’s fixed. 

That’s it for now, look forward to a more comprehensive review of the camp when my hands don’t lactate while typing.

Oh, one more number:

6 - hrs on the bike tomorrow morning. I’m going to bed. 

Further pictorials can be found at 'Cool House' member Ash Gentle's blog...